So for once, I’m going to write something on a little bit of the serious side. Some of you are my closest friends in the world. You know it all…the good, the bad, and the ugly.
It’s no secret that the past year and a half has been one of change and affirmations. It has been a scary journey, that’s for sure. Many of you have experienced this thing we call divorce. But just because so many experience this, it does not make it any easier nor are one individual’s the same as someone else’s.
I have experienced many things in my life that most people never have to go through. However, I choose to look at these occurrences as blessings that have made me the extremely unique woman I have become. The people that have hurt me are merely part of this and I have chosen to forgive them because if I don’t they continue to have a hold on my life and that gives them control. Honestly, life is too short.
One of the reasons I am able to let go is because of the love that many show me everyday. It’s unreal the amount of people, family and friends, that consistently express unconditional love to me. If you are one of these people, and you know who you are, thank you!
So with complete honesty I can say I have forgiven my ex-husband for all of the bullshit he has created. It feels so great to say that!! But with forgiveness there is still pain, trust issues, walls with Teflon that are built around me, moments of sadness, and days that I just don’t know if I’m going to make it.
I’m writing this because…I don’t know I just want to and so I am.!
When I think of the past 5 years of my life the vision of a forest fire comes to mind. It started out small and before I could get it out the entire thing was up in flames. There was nothing I could do. The day I woke up was the day I realized no matter what I do, I can NEVER control what another human does or thinks, besides physical making them do something through strength.
The one thing I did have control over was me and what I was willing to live with. Since that day the separation, divorce, etc…has been much easier.
So back to this fire, my life was in flames and I had to choose whether to stay and fight it with my one little water hose or walk the other way and let the forces that be, God, take control. And that’s what I did, I found a clearance where a small path was located and I put one foot in front of the other.
I’m still walking on this path and each day the grass is getting greener. Sometimes there’s even a small wildflower that makes an appearance. Other days there are storms that come with rain and thunder but I just keep walking. Occasionally I look back at where I’ve come from and I can’t see the path behind me because it has been completely singed, burned beyond recognition. When I look ahead there is a clearing in the distance with a small cabin. I can barely see it but it’s evident it’s a cozy place where water, food, and safety are sure to be. I feel out of breath, thirsty, and so tired that I ‘m just not going to make it another step. But then I think about the cabin and my adrenaline kicks in. Each step is one step closer to water, food, and healing.
This cabin for me is my life in several months and years. It’s the friends and family that call me for no reason other than to say, “I love you.” It’s the contentment of watching my baby girl grow up to be a healthy, strong woman. It’s continuing to find and follow God’s will in my life and loving those around me. In this cabin I will be able to feel again and this numbness that keeps me from feeling so much will go away bit by bit.
Hopefully, one day I will also meet that special southern gentleman that I know exists out there, somewhere, and can actually handle this package…I’m no fool I know I can be a lot to deal with. Lol! I think he must be visiting somewhere in an undisclosed location because I have yet to locate him after much pursuit over the past 32 years. One day he’s sure to come home and it will be just the right time. Like Joanne says (one of our writers) timing is everything…
With all of this said, thank you to those that keep giving to me even though right now I have nothing to give back. One day, I hope to return all you’ve done for me.
I’m still laughing people and will be back with a funny post soon. :) Love is serious some days, so there it is….
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
OLDER POST: I Heart Bulge
This is an old post and I just had to repost it....I lose my breath every time I read it:)
My thought for the next blog was going to be a bit more serious but that was before the disturbing email I received today. So as stated before about EHarmony, you get to an email stage. Now most of the time I never take it farther than emailing but I have talked on the phone to a few. Anyways...this has been my adventure today. And before you think not…IT IS TRUE!! I’m telling you, I just may stay single and on these dating sites just to write a book. Monetarily, it might be worth it!
Back to today… I made it to email with this gentleman and private email at that. We corresponded with very simple contact, “Good Morning”, “Hope you have a good day”, etc... Then, he asks if I would like to see more pics of him since there aren’t that many on his profile. Well look, who’s gonna turn more pics down, so I said sure.
I was in a PreK class observing, not thinking about said email I had sent earlier about clearance of sending pictures, and this is what I got. Just take about 10 seconds and check it out…take a good – long – hard look!!!!
There are few things I’m going to point out to you, incase you didn’t notice. But, I’m guessing you noticed because frankly, it’s hard to miss…
*First and foremost let’s get the acknowledgement of the oversized package located in the crotch of his tighty whities. I’m just going to lie this out there…it’s socks, potatoes, or oranges. And if it is real, who cares?? Absolutely ridiculous!!
*Now for the tighty whities. Gross. If you wear those, you don’t take pics with them on. I mean, really?? Geez…I just don’t know what else to say about that.
*Next, look at that smile! He’s grinnin’ like a damn jackass on crack! He obviously really likes looking at himself.
*Check out the abs and chest. I have to say not bad as long as you don’t look at anything else in the picture. However, that is still not enough to compensate for the complete pornographic spin this picture takes once you get to the crotch level!!
Well in reflection of today’s events, I will say I have deleted my EHarmony account. I will no longer be exploring dating via online services, from that company at least. I am going to stay on match just because the people are much more entertaining (in the posting on blog sort of way) and it seems easier to weed out. I’m sure I will be back with a new post or picture soon enough.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Teabag Tough
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
0
“A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Most men view women as weak and fragile. However, she is the one that holds this world together. She may cry but her tears are really her balls of steel.
There’s a reason women don’t have nuts… there’s not enough space in the world to hold their size!
I have listed five things every man should know about a woman and her heart.
1. Her heart loves many but the one’s she chooses to serve and protect are few.
2. Each time you make her cry, her heart hardens to you. A wall begins to form and an apology does NOT destroy it. She may forgive you but that stone is still there – always. A woman’s strength allows her to never forget those that have caused her pain.
3. A true woman lays everything out on the table…when she gives her heart it is the purest form of love that can exist.
4. For her sex and love do connect. She wants to pleasure you like no other woman ever has. Every time she is with you a part of her will wonder what it was like for you with other women. This isn’t insecurity (of which many of you mistake) it’s the love she has for you.
5. A woman can endure massive amounts of pain while functioning as if nothing of the sort has taken place.
This is to remind you gentlemen that while we may let you think you are in control….The power is ours all along :)
Most men view women as weak and fragile. However, she is the one that holds this world together. She may cry but her tears are really her balls of steel.
There’s a reason women don’t have nuts… there’s not enough space in the world to hold their size!
I have listed five things every man should know about a woman and her heart.
1. Her heart loves many but the one’s she chooses to serve and protect are few.
2. Each time you make her cry, her heart hardens to you. A wall begins to form and an apology does NOT destroy it. She may forgive you but that stone is still there – always. A woman’s strength allows her to never forget those that have caused her pain.
3. A true woman lays everything out on the table…when she gives her heart it is the purest form of love that can exist.
4. For her sex and love do connect. She wants to pleasure you like no other woman ever has. Every time she is with you a part of her will wonder what it was like for you with other women. This isn’t insecurity (of which many of you mistake) it’s the love she has for you.
5. A woman can endure massive amounts of pain while functioning as if nothing of the sort has taken place.
This is to remind you gentlemen that while we may let you think you are in control….The power is ours all along :)
Monday, November 22, 2010
How To...
Monday, November 22, 2010
0
Welcome back readers! It has been so long since I have had the joy of writing. It feels good to hear and feel my fingers clicking across the keyboard. Hope you likey.
Among our society there is a stigma about relationships, especially marriages, that men don’t get enough sex and women don’t want to give it (unless getting something in return). The male complains, “Man, I don’t get enough!” while his counterpart says “Geez…if I never have to have sex again, it will be too soon!”
This is not always true, men just don’t know how to get what they want. I probably have a much higher libido than most women so my view may be a tad bit skewed. However, I have been one of those women that, while married, went months without sex. By the way, I still wanted sex but for reasons, I’m sure I will explain below, I didn’t give it up.
Women want IT. Believe it or not, we sometimes want to have our clothing ripped off, and our ass smacked. It’s a cold hard fact. But sometimes, we don’t want to do it with YOU.
There are three types of sex for women. These are in no particular order…
1. Raw Sex – this is the kind of sex that is unexpected. You catch yourselves alone, kissing starts and then, BAM – nakedness has occurred and craziness has ensued. Guys, you know this kind of sex…this is probably some of your most favorable moments. However, gentlemen, you have no idea what you did so different to get you to that point.
2. Playful Sex – This is different than raw sex. It’s fun…there’s laughter, foreplay, and eventually sex. This is when most of the fun happens in foreplay (toys, teasing, oral pleasures, etc…)
3. You Are The One Sex – This is sweetness at it’s best. This is when you light the candles, set your entire evening aside, and only worry about pleasuring your partner. This sex requires numerous hours for massages and other things that we are all aware of.
So guys, how do you get sex (any of the three) out of your woman?? Well since you fellows work on a much lower intelligence quotient, I am going to be nice enough to help you out. :)
For married men, you must begin your sexual preparations at least 3 days prior to penetration. For single guys, you can begin 1-2 days depending on how long you’ve been in the relationship. So, in other words, don’t be a freaking jack ass at least 3 days (1-2 for single fellas) before you plan on tappin that ass….got it??
First of all there are some ground rules. If you want us to WANT to have sex with you then you MUST do the following through this entire process.
-Keep your hygiene up (take a bath and wear cologne). We do not want to have sex with a stank ass, just sayin…
-Get a pedicure regularly (we like well kept feet just like you do)
-Withhold bodily functions until you are in the restroom at least some of the time.
-Wash your hands!!!
-Let us have control of the conch(remote) on occasion:)
Now, you really don’t have to do anything spectacular but the following are what to begin with:
-a sweet note (try written fellas, texts get old): “Just thinking of you”, “You’re one in a million”, etc….nothing sexual
-kiss her on the forehead or hand and follow it up with a “You’re amazing!” compliment
Now once you have done a few of the items listed above you can slowly begin with flirty texts and compliments. Not too strong but sweet things like, “I missed your touch today,” “I love the way those jeans fit you,” etc…
Just continue the small talk and texts. Each time you can be a little more forward. During all of this also do some thoughtful things that she will notice and that is a little out of the ordinary. For example, if you’re married…direct her to go enjoy a hot bath while you clean up the kitchen. Women like thoughtful gestures that don’t require money but instead require unselfish time.
Doing all of these things will get you a piece of tail…I promise!
Which type of sex you get will depend on your lady and time that is available but I am guessing that you don’t much care which type you get as long as you get it…am I right?? I hope you all get laid in the next three days and ladies please feel free to leave comments for the fellows so as to help them out.
Among our society there is a stigma about relationships, especially marriages, that men don’t get enough sex and women don’t want to give it (unless getting something in return). The male complains, “Man, I don’t get enough!” while his counterpart says “Geez…if I never have to have sex again, it will be too soon!”
This is not always true, men just don’t know how to get what they want. I probably have a much higher libido than most women so my view may be a tad bit skewed. However, I have been one of those women that, while married, went months without sex. By the way, I still wanted sex but for reasons, I’m sure I will explain below, I didn’t give it up.
Women want IT. Believe it or not, we sometimes want to have our clothing ripped off, and our ass smacked. It’s a cold hard fact. But sometimes, we don’t want to do it with YOU.
There are three types of sex for women. These are in no particular order…
1. Raw Sex – this is the kind of sex that is unexpected. You catch yourselves alone, kissing starts and then, BAM – nakedness has occurred and craziness has ensued. Guys, you know this kind of sex…this is probably some of your most favorable moments. However, gentlemen, you have no idea what you did so different to get you to that point.
2. Playful Sex – This is different than raw sex. It’s fun…there’s laughter, foreplay, and eventually sex. This is when most of the fun happens in foreplay (toys, teasing, oral pleasures, etc…)
3. You Are The One Sex – This is sweetness at it’s best. This is when you light the candles, set your entire evening aside, and only worry about pleasuring your partner. This sex requires numerous hours for massages and other things that we are all aware of.
So guys, how do you get sex (any of the three) out of your woman?? Well since you fellows work on a much lower intelligence quotient, I am going to be nice enough to help you out. :)
For married men, you must begin your sexual preparations at least 3 days prior to penetration. For single guys, you can begin 1-2 days depending on how long you’ve been in the relationship. So, in other words, don’t be a freaking jack ass at least 3 days (1-2 for single fellas) before you plan on tappin that ass….got it??
First of all there are some ground rules. If you want us to WANT to have sex with you then you MUST do the following through this entire process.
-Keep your hygiene up (take a bath and wear cologne). We do not want to have sex with a stank ass, just sayin…
-Get a pedicure regularly (we like well kept feet just like you do)
-Withhold bodily functions until you are in the restroom at least some of the time.
-Wash your hands!!!
-Let us have control of the conch(remote) on occasion:)
Now, you really don’t have to do anything spectacular but the following are what to begin with:
-a sweet note (try written fellas, texts get old): “Just thinking of you”, “You’re one in a million”, etc….nothing sexual
-kiss her on the forehead or hand and follow it up with a “You’re amazing!” compliment
Now once you have done a few of the items listed above you can slowly begin with flirty texts and compliments. Not too strong but sweet things like, “I missed your touch today,” “I love the way those jeans fit you,” etc…
Just continue the small talk and texts. Each time you can be a little more forward. During all of this also do some thoughtful things that she will notice and that is a little out of the ordinary. For example, if you’re married…direct her to go enjoy a hot bath while you clean up the kitchen. Women like thoughtful gestures that don’t require money but instead require unselfish time.
Doing all of these things will get you a piece of tail…I promise!
Which type of sex you get will depend on your lady and time that is available but I am guessing that you don’t much care which type you get as long as you get it…am I right?? I hope you all get laid in the next three days and ladies please feel free to leave comments for the fellows so as to help them out.
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